We help angry kids, frustrated parents, and distant couples…and just about everyone else. These blogs are attempts at bringing what happens in a session to life for others. There are resources that I draw from and I want to world to have access. I don’t know everything, but I have learned a few things along the way. Thanks for joining me in this journey.
Summer is upon us, the air is warming, the flowers are in bloom, and the winter blah is over…or is it? Maybe someone you love is dealing with the “summer blues.” We assume that when the weather improves, so will our feelings of isolation and lethargy. But for over 16 million American adults, depression is …
Imagine your boss tells you that you need to go to a networking event. What is your first emotional response? For many people they may not want to go, but they would make it work. Some would be excited. For about 18% of the population, it would probably trigger their anxiety. According to the Anxiety …
Are our smartphones the new mistress? In a number of ways, our brains don’t understand where our body ends and our phones begin. We see them as an extension of our personality, experience, and life. Staying up-to-date on Facebook, posting pictures, and having our businesses more streamlined, makes it difficult to know where we end …
Read more “How do I get my spouse to stop using their smartphone?”
Las Vegas, Puerto Rico, and by the time this article is published, another city will be on our list. We live in a world of hurt. What’s amazing about humans, is that when other people are hurting, attacked, and vulnerable, we feel something too. We cry thinking about others being shot at a country music …
Parenting teens can be very difficult! Parenting conflicts with teens is something that most of us have joked about amongst our fellow parents. If you are raising a teen, it’s highly probable that you’ve wanted to scream, pull your own hair out, or hide in your bedroom from the adolescent drama and ridiculousness. However, there …
DIVORCE- Are you looking for a divorce counselor? Talking about divorce isn’t easy. It can be messy and heartbreaking, and it can stir up emotions of anger, resentment, guilt, sadness, amongst many others. Divorce usually eludes to the idea that there is a broken relationship that is unsalvageable. Many couples agree to therapy, hoping to …
How do you really feel about counseling and coaching? I want to change the stereotype of “Mental Wellness.” I want people to look forward to a good individual therapy session, as opposed to feeling strain and angst because they are coming to therapy to “work on their issues.” To put things in a different perspective, …
Our teens live in a world that is full of screens. It can sometimes be difficult to know what is normal for digital addiction, video game addiction, social media addiction, internet addiction and what is not screen addiction? Signs of Internet Addiction The Center for Internet Addiction published the following: Meeting 5 of the criteria …
Read more “Does my teen have a digital or internet addiction?”
Have you ever had a ridiculous fight with your partner? I remember one about mayonnaise that was really a fight about budgeting. Or one about dishes that was really about time management and fairness. Or another that was about snow pants, but it was really about parental roles. What if I told you that 95% …
My wife and I recently got in a fight about pajamas. There weren’t pajamas for my daughter in her drawer. But it wasn’t about pajamas. It was about roles, household duties, and fairness. Have you ever had the pajama fight? You know it’s ridiculous, but it really matters to you. It’s tapped into something beyond …
Read more “One Thing Couples Can Do to Improve Their Relationship in 5 Minutes”
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Community Spotlight” series introduces key leaders in Grand Traverse County who work to enhance the community’s health and overall wellbeing. Whether it’s focusing on individual health or family dynamics, they are here to help! Ryan Douglass: Court counseling Ryan Douglass used to envision himself as a private practice family therapist—complete with …
Read more “Community Spotlight: Leelanau County Family Court”
It seems some people are able to find success like a dog sniffing out bacon, whereas success to others is like looking for your lost keys. In one situation, success and goal achievement is just following the scent and in another it is a haphazard and frustrating experience. When we hear “success” we often think …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Passion for Psychology When adults asked young Joe Sanok what he wanted to be when …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Survival of the Sickest As a 21-year-old undergrad, Anndrea Terry’s life was changed forever at …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Q: How did you first get interested/involved in your particular field? A: I became interested …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Q: What has been your most impactful work experience? A: I worked on a crisis …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Q: What influenced you to become a counselor? A: As an undergraduate, I studied abroad …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Nine Joyless Months Pregnancy according to Nicole Ball is not always the glowing complexion, framed sonogram …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. Q: What experiences have you had that make you feel capable of being a counselor? …
The Mental Wellness Counseling “Meet the Counselors” series offers a deeper look into each counselor’s background, experiences, motivations, values, and philosophies. In this series, I put counselors on the couch to learn why and how they do what they do. A New Start The 2008 economic recession catalyzed a life-changing series of events for Steve …
Before we talk about what to do after winning the lottery, and what we can learn from it, let’s just talk about money. Money has the potential to really improve people’s lives. If you’re living in poverty and you can now buy food and not worry about getting by, that’s a big jump! Princeton University’s Woodrow …
By Tarah K. Elhardan, MA, LPC, NCC Last week, as I was laying on my yoga mat in the beginning of a Friday evening yoga class, my instructor gracefully stated that “one is the union of the mind, body and consciousness.” As a mental health professional, this truly resonated with me and I thought about …
When I was seven, I wanted a skateboard. My parents told me they would pay half of what I could raise. I needed $25. Magically, the neighbors were going out of town for a week and needed meet to fill their bird bath daily. So after school for a week, I walked next door and …
This article appeared in Joe’s monthly column in the Traverse City Record Eagle. Imagine Bonnie. She’s 47 and she’s a middle manager for a local company. The company numbers are down. Bonnie also had a father who was a hard working Detroit factory man. He didn’t have time for excuses. He had grit. From a …
By Jessica Kelley As a parent it’s easy to get discouraged from energy exhausted into trying to get an obstinate child to “mind” you. After multiple failed attempts for obedience, you can start to give up, and hence give in to your child’s demands, tantrums, and behavior issues. How does this affect the parent and …
Before bed, our brains are preparing to work differently. The brain transitions from active awareness to filing. During sleep, our brain works to discard information that it determines is useless and stores information that is helpful. The evolving brain Over thousands of years of evolution, our brains have figured out that when we are in …
Download the Green Smoothie Infographic You want to lose weight, stop smoking, or save more for retirement. Every year we do this and every year, 92% of us fail at New Year’s Resolutions. A University of Scranton study found that only 8% of people will succeed in their resolutions. So maybe you should resolve to …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC Sam came into my office with fear in his eyes. His father had called me and stated he needed to find some help for his boy – all had not been right for a while. Sam was a freshman in college and had been doing outstanding in his …
Read more “Teen Addictions: From Warning Signs to Treatment”
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “All forms of self-defeating behavior are unseen and unconscious, which is why their existence is denied.” Vernon Howard What are Self-Defeating Behaviors? In their book, Going Home: A Positive Emotional Guide for Promoting Life-Generating Behaviors (Honu Publications 2005), Drs. Gregory and Lori Boothroyd state that “self–defeating behaviors are any behavior or …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “Every habit he’s ever had is still there in his body, lying dormant like flowers in the desert. Given the right conditions, all his old addictions would burst into full and luxuriant bloom.” Margaret Atwood When discussing an addiction or dependency, most standard beliefs center around the continued …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC Many people go through life expecting the worst. Alfred Alder, the 19th century Austrian psychotherapist, stated: “Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.” But you can help your clients change their perceptions of themselves and the world and, as …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.” Anne Lamott. In the modern recovery world “rehab” can mean many things. To treat addictions a person can choose long-term (usually 90 days) and shorter-term (30 days to 2 weeks) in-house programs. Each type of program …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “No” is a complete sentence.” Anne Lamott When I was working at an in-patient recovery center as a therapist, we would discuss boundaries in group. Many of the men in my group were between the ages of 18-30 and had issues relative to their addictive behaviors such as dual …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC More often than not, when clients enter my office that are struggling with anxiety, they have immediate need for relief and long term plans to gain coping strategies. Numerous life situations have, in many cases, added up and created the environment for potential relapse back into old patterns for …
Read more “Coping with–and Reducing Stress, Anxiety and Worry”
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “Yet it is hard to tread water with someone on our back without drowning.” -Jeffrey Kottler Jeffrey Kottler throughout his book “On Being a Therapist” sprinkles seeds of wisdom that will not only benefit the inexperienced therapist but the experienced therapist as well. Kottler states that many in today’s …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC I remember the ice hitting the glass. After working all day and sitting down in the living room, I would hear the noise of the ice from ice maker entering the glass. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. My mind raced to what may …
By: Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life that no man can sincerely try to help another, without helping himself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson Stephanie Brown, in her book The Alcoholic Family in Recovery, discusses four distinct stages that the alcoholic and the family surrounding him or her must …
Photo Provided by Tela Chhe on flickr A wedding is an important life experience that takes a lot of time and effort to prepare for. With all of the preparation comes stress that can lead to various consequences. Some partners lose their connection and question their proposal or acceptance of a proposal. Others become overwhelmed …
Photo Provided by slightly-less-random on flickr Let’s face it, some couples go through a phase where they lose interest in each other. For some, this leads to one partner giving up hope and walking away from the relationship. For others, the wedding just seems like the next step in the relationship. It is essential for …
Read more “Emotional Connectivity Checklist: 10 Things Couples Should Do Before their Wedding”
Photo Provided by April Killingsworth on flickr You are a very important part of your son or daughter’s wedding. Your opinion on certain parts of the wedding will be taken into consideration, but you have to remember that this is not your wedding. There is a reason that the stereotypical relationship between the bride or …
By: Lucy Seefried, MA, LLPC There’s something about the spring season that not only calls upon new life to emerge, but if you’re anything like me, it can also stir the pot of discontent, anxiety, and maybe even a little depression. Here we’ve spent most of the winter inside, perhaps even welcoming the solitude the …
There are lots of events that allow you to find someone to hook up with, but you should NOT choose to do so at a wedding reception. A wedding is an event with lots of people from two different families and groups of friends. Yes, this is an event where singles meet up to have …
Read more “3 Reasons Not to Hook Up With Anyone at a Wedding”
What is rehab? By Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC First, let’s start with a great quote about recovery and addictions: “You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.” -Anne Lamott Like any journey, the road to sobriety and addictions recovery begins with simple steps forward. The specific steps of one’s addiction …
By Steve Greenman, MA, LPC, NCC “At the bottom of every person’s dependency, there is always pain, discovering the pain and healing it is an essential step in ending dependency.” Chris Prentiss, The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Do you have a love one struggling with emotional/physical pain using an unhealthy dependency (alcohol, pornography, gambling, drugs legal …
By Tarah Elhardan, MA, LLPC Act in the Moment– Do one thing at a time. During the holidays there is so much to get done and it can feel very overwhelming. By putting all of your energy into one task it is more likely that you will complete it. Tackling the tasks one by one …
We were visiting our recently married friends, I asked the wife, “What didn’t you expect in marriage?” She said, “I thought the wow would end.” “That’s great that it has continued,” thinking it was a weird way of saying that there was still a spark or flame in the marriage. “No, I thought the World …
Depression Common Types & Signs (From National Institute of Mental Health) Major Depression: severe symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a person’s lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes. Persistent depressive disorder—depressed mood that lasts for at least …
I was recently talking with a friend that said, “You know, I realized recently that there was a last time that I carried my child to bed.” His kids are older now. He went on, “There was a last time.” Then he paused. Whether it is a last time hugging your kids in your home, …
“The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make the story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.” Donald Miller Let me get this out in the open from the get go: I never intended to write anything more than a check for a bill I needed to pay. This is …
What is the 10x10x10 Challenge? Quick Version The 10x10x10 Challenge is a way to help everyone focus. It is a way for us to collectively do something together, that will instill entrepreneurial habits that make us succeed. There are 10 tasks Do all 10 tasks every day by 10:00 am Do this for 10 days …
With school back in session, emotions are flying high. Excitement mixed with a bit of nervousness is expected. Whether it is your child’s first school experience or just another year, it’s the start of a new chapter in his/her life and yours. As we know all children are different and come to school with their …
A number of photos have recently been circling the Facebook-Twittersphere about the trash at the Traverse City National Cherry Festival. As a counselor and psychologist, I’m interested in the human behavior behind the problem. I’ve traveled throughout Haiti, Nepal, Thailand, and much of South America. In those travels, I’ve observed how different cultures view trash. …
5 Tips for Distant Couples Traverse City Marriage Counseling | Tip #1 Focus on the big goal of marriage: Why did you get married? Probably to spend your life with someone, have a level of intimacy, and grow with them. If you keep focused on the big goal of marriage, feeling that intimacy, then you’ll have …
5 Ways to help angry kids Are your kids angry? Did your son recently get a MIP? Does your daughter sneak out? Do your kids throw tantrums? As experts in counseling children, working with angry kids, and family counseling, we want to help. Whether that is through reading our blog posts about family counselor or …
I love it when “someday we will” becomes “today we are.” Joseph R. Sanok Mental Wellness Counseling, Traverse City, MI Photo by Vox Efx
Steps to reaching goals: 1. Identify your New Year’s resolution or goal. 2. Create a plan that helps you overcome barriers, laziness, and not doing it. 3. Do it daily until you have reached your goal.
How to Improve Kid’s Sleep As parents, we want to stay educated and up-to-date on what best helps our kids learn, grow, and thrive. This page is centered around the topic of sleep. Why sleep? Here are a few reasons: 1. Sleep is core to improvement and maintenance in a number of areas including attention, …
Read more “How to Improve Kids’ Sleep | 10 resources to help kids sleep”
With so many ways to improve parenting, it’s unbelievable that these things are true! What do you think? (Read More to see the full graphic…)
That phrase, “I just felt it in my gut,” might be true after all. Researchers are now finding that what we eat actually has a profound biological effect on our mood. It’s because we’re feeding a bunch of microbe in our body. They react to what we eat. In fact, they out number our cells …
Read more “Microbes, Your Gut, and Your Brain | How new research is changing the face of anxiety”
Watch Jane McGonigal’s TED Talk above to know how this fits into video games. Hospice Workers Report Top 5 Regrets on Deathbeds Here’s the link to the article 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I hadn’t worked …
Read more “Kids should play more video games…or should they?”
9 ways to get better sleep Sleep is when our brains organize what has happened. Most adults need at least 7 hours of sleep. People/kids in school need 8-10 hours to appropriately categorize what they have learned. Less sleep = More anxiety/depression/academic failure Don’t have a TV in your bedroom, it stimulates your brain to …
Read more “Why you should sleep more | Better sleep = Better grades”
Basics of School Success Make sure your brain is working, get lots of sleep. Don’t stink, shower and smell good! Eat healthy food. Get lots of exercise. Of course you should study too!
It’s here!!! The Ten-Minute Toddler Turnaround | Improving Sleep The Ten-minute Toddler Turnaround | Improving Sleep: Changing your toddler’s sleep health in ten-minutes. The book we’ve been waiting for!
STEP 001 [PLAN] LEARN HOW SLEEP HELPS THE BRAIN ONE HOUR OF SLEEP IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “A” STUDENTS AND “B” STUDENTS REDUCE LIGHT AND SOUND
9 ways to get better sleep Sleep is when our brains organize what has happened. Most adults need at least 7 hours of sleep. People/kids in school need 8-10 hours to appropriately categorize what they have learned. Less sleep = More anxiety/depression/academic failure Don’t have a TV in your bedroom, it stimulates your brain to …
Joe’s New Book Mental Wellness Parenting | A remarkably simple approach to making parenting easier From Mental Wellness Parenting | A remarkably simple approach to making parenting easier: Control vs. Voice So how do we use this new information about guiding our kids to help them change their behavior? Ultimately, you have no control …
Even parents need reminders. Sometimes it’s easy to just get in the routine of parenting. Although Valentine’s Day is often for lovers, we love our kids! It is a special day to share with them just how much they mean to you. Here are a few tips and ideas. Take them out for breakfast. Give …
Read more “14 Ways to Show Your Kids Love on Valentine’s Day”
Being a good parent is like making soup. For those of you who have never made soup, except out of a can I’m sorry. You are truly missing out. When making a good soup you can of course follow a recipe. But, some of the greatest surprises are when you create a soup from what …
Now that Christmas is behind us, 2013 goals are here. Maybe this will help you reach those goals this year. Whether it is to be a better parent, help your kids, improve your marriage, exercise more, or just create a better you…this should help!
A Guide for times like these What to do What not to do How to help your kids, friends, and self in a time of tragedy Kids Allow …
Step 001: know what you want and what makes you happy Step 002: tell yourself that no matter what happens, you are going to do your best Step 003: prepare your family as best as you can. Step 004: do your best to be happier, more helpful, and a better …
The wonderful and scary thing about kids is that they say what they think. That is why a hug from them is so wonderful and a critical comment can cut through a parent’s heart. They are not censoring much of what they say and do. With the holiday season …
Parents rap about maintaining their household by videosonlytube I just saw this video. I don’t have much insight regarding counseling or therapeutic issues to write about. More that I just love how this couple seems to work together. It is so easy to get caught up in life’s tasks, but when a couple fires on …
“All teenagers are risk-takers, moody, and get embarrassed by their parents.” “They are angry and hate adults.” “They only listen to their friends.” Are these statements really true? Sarah-Jayne Blakemore discusses why teenagers seem more impulsive and less self-aware than grown-ups. She compares the prefrontal cortex in adolescents to adults. Often typically “teenage” behavior is caused by …
Appearing in the Record Eagle on 9-8-12 In 9th grade, the school counselor brought me and several other students into her office. She informed us that a peer had committed suicide. Later, the entire school was informed. It is devastating to get that type of news. Every 15 minutes another family, friend, and …
In July I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Fairly soon I will be having a bunch of additional tests and have a treatment plan. I will soon have my thyroid removed, have a scar on my neck, and be on medicine for the rest of my life. I feel too young for all of this. …
A “helicopter parent” is a parent who hovers over their child, waiting to catch them before they skin their knee. “Helicopter Parents” schedule, plan, and create a world for their children. They are usually highly involved and deep down want the best for their kids. They are often high achievers or wish they had been …
Originally featured in the Record Eagle July 14, 2012. Available at: http://record-eagle.com/features/x748660390/Mental-Wellness-Opposite-sex-friends I have seen many a friendship and marriage fail because of opposite gender friends. What happens when you have a great opposite gender friend and you get married? What about friends that you make after marriage that are opposite of your gender? A marriage …
Originally appeared in the Record Eagle, April 21, 2012 available at: http://record-eagle.com/bodysoul/x1350020161/Mental-Wellness-More-than-beauty-rest/print My grandma had a sleep mask. You know the kind that blocks out light? Hers was pink. I always thought it looked stupid. Then my wife gave me one last December, except mine is brown and black. When I got it, I thought, …
There are so many factors that go into parenting. It seems that every friend, website, magazine, and blog is telling you how to get more organized and structured in your parenting. But what if I told you that you were too organized and rigid? Would that be freeing? Of course there are times that you …
Bus Monitor Bullied About a week ago, my wife was changing my daughter’s diaper. She was parked outside a pharmacy in Traverse City and she was changing the diaper on the front seat of our car. I wasn’t there. Some teens pulled up and were seated with …
I was at a conference today in Traverse City and the facilitator showed this video. I absolutely love it. For one, it is funny. But It also makes several points that I think are worth noting. The facilitator discussed the mentalities that many of us have: Victim vs. Creator. When a stimulus happens and …
I haven’t told everyone, but I have told a lot of people, my daughter was recently in the hospital for a week. It was something fairly severe and we’re now in recovery mode. Here are some things that I wrote down the night that her surgery was over and …
Originally published at http://record-eagle.com/features/x239062040/Mental-Wellness-Build-time-to-slow-down by Joseph R. Sanok I can’t slow down. I need this article more than anyone. I have a baby, house, job, private practice ” the list goes on and on. I bet your list is similar. There is always a reason why I can’t slow down. I …
You never really appreciate a life of normality until crisis hits. Our family has been through a number of things lately: a death, a major medical issue, and close friends having their own crisis. It is amazing how it seems that high profile events bring out people’s true social skills. I learned through experience what …
It all started when we were shopping for mayonnaise. I mean, we didn’t go to the store just for mayo, it’s not like we have an all mayo diet, but it is now known as the “Mayo Incident.” I would say that it started years before that incident, but it was the catalyst. We …
How’s it going friend? I hope that your day is going fabulous! Also, thank you in advance for passing this on to one friend, I’m sure you know a parent that can grow with you, so thanks for helping your friends through this newsletter. Today’s newsletter is going to be a shorter letter with a …
First let me say “welcome” to all of our new subscribers. It has been overwhelming to see how many new people joined us in the last month. Welcome, welcome welcome and thank you! Those of you that are the vets of the list, thank you as well for sticking with me! Now, down to business.New …
Dear Joe, My five year old daughter talks to everyone, she is a lovely person with a big personality. I am worried that she will talk to strangers and it could lead to something bad. What are your thoughts on “stranger danger.” -A Mom in Traverse City, MI Dear …
Read more “Four Things Every Preschooler Should Do Every Day”
Ask Joe Think “Dear Abby” for a new generation. Each newsletter I will select one or more questions to answer. So if you have a parenting or mental wellness question, please send it my way. I’m sure others have the same question and could benefit. sanokcounseling@gmail.com Dear Joe, What are …
Ask Joe Think “Dear Abby” for a new generation. Each newsletter I will select one or more questions to answer. So if you have a parenting or mental wellness question, please send it my way. I’m sure others have the same question and could benefit. joe@mentalwellnesscounseling.com Dear Joe, There is so much in the news these days …
Ask Joe Think “Dear Abby” for a new generation. Each newsletter I will select one or more questions to answer. So if you have a parenting or mental wellness question, please send it my way. I’m sure others have the same question and could benefit. sanokcounseling@gmail.com Dear Joe, I have a toddler will not …
Ask Joe Think “Dear Abby” for a new generation. Each newsletter I will select one or more questions to answer. So if you have a parenting or mental wellness question, please send it my way. I’m sure others have the same question and could benefit. joe@mentalwellnesscounseling.com Dear Joe, …
Four Parenting Tips Parenting can be so complex, here are some quick tips to get you going: 1. Start observing: When you review your child’s behavior, what do you see, hear, and observe. What is your starting point? Once you establish the description of behavior, it will be easier …