Discernment Counseling (Intensive Couples Services)


Discernment Counseling is where partners make relationship goals together and investigate their marriage in a safe environment. Partners use their own voice and listen to the voice of their partner in a calm and safe space specific to exploration of the relationship. Partners in troubled marriages can determine if they want to give it one last try or get a divorce. This is often a short-term intensive process lasting 2-6 sessions. Partners can work to decisions from a rational perspective rather than emotional chaos.

Conversations regarding divorce within partnerships are often generated through an incident, anger, frustration, and fatigue. Discernment counseling allows partners to have safe conversations regarding their future together. This process helps couples to better understanding of themselves and each other and the intended goals. Deep and difficult discussions  take place to consider the advantages and disadvantages of staying together or in obtaining a divorce. They proceed down the path of choice, most likely, with less interpersonal conflict and better sense of acceptance of a joint decision.

Discernment counseling is designed for specific types of couples. If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. If this describes you or your partner then Discernment Counseling is designed for you. If one partner wants to pursue couples therapy but the other is unsure then Discernment Counseling is a first step process for you. Basically it is a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage. The counselor will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.


The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.


It is a time limited process designed to help you make a decision on how you want to proceed for your marriage.

1.) Initial Intake: Two hour meeting including assessment and evaluation ($375)

2.) Discernment Sessions: Three 90 minute sessions ($300 each session)

3.) Ongoing 60 minute sessions as needed. ($175 each session)

Discernment Counseling is not Suited for these situations:

  • When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
  • When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
  • When there is danger of domestic violence