Blog : wedding prep

Wedding Planning Stress Minimization

Wedding Planning Stress Minimization

Photo Provided by Tela Chhe on flickr

A wedding is an important life experience that takes a lot of time and effort to prepare for.

With all of the preparation comes stress that can lead to various consequences. Some partners lose their connection and question their proposal or acceptance of a proposal. Others become overwhelmed with constant decision making. Family, friends, wedding planners, and even partners can become additional sources of stress. Understanding that both partners have different perspectives on the celebration is essential to making sure preparations go smoothly.

Here are some ways to make sure stress does not affect the connection you have with your partner:

Remind each other why you wanted to get married in the first place.

Take the time to tell your partner what you love about them. Couples often overlook this, leading to one partner feeling under-appreciated.

 Make mutual decisions.

In the beginning stages of a relationship there are decisions that can be made independently. There are also certain things that do not necessarily need to be shared with the other partner. This will change when the decision is made to enter into a marriage. Making decisions together from the early stages of wedding planning can prepare a couple for challenges that may lie ahead.

Mutually choose the caterer, colors, theme, motif, sponsors, officiating person, entourage, gowns, tuxes, guests, reception hall, and everything else. Men often prefer to have the ladies make decisions while they foot the bill. This strategy can often lead to disagreements where men are disappointed, especially because they paid for the thing they did not like. This source of stress and arguments can be minimized by making decisions together. It will also give partners a better idea of how they cope with decision making and show each individual’s point of view on an issue. Always include partners in decision making, never rush them into making a decision, and encourage participation.

 Have a fire/water strategy.

When couples inevitably lose patience and argue, it is easy for them to start attacking each other. In cases such as these, avoid attacks as much as possible. If one partner is steaming, angry, and playing the role of fire, the other partner should not attack them. Instead, they should take time to cool off, avoid flaring up, and calm the angry partner. Simply getting them to a level where they can sensibly talk about the issue will do wonders. Do not avoid the argument, but slightly delay the discussion so both partners can rationally take part in it.

 Take time to unwind.

Staying connected during the planning process is not just about making decisions, handling difficult situations, or reminding each other of the your love connection. Both of you should have fun while preparing for the wedding. Take time to withdraw from preparations and chill out. Plan a short vacation, play games, or participate in activities you both love. What matters is that you both enjoy the planning and the down time.

 

Ultimately, a marriage is a mutual decision between two people to spend the rest of their lives together. A wedding should be planned with a similar approach in mind. A couple should not feel forced to show their relationship off to the world. It is not just a special occasion that you should prepare for, but the first step both of you are taking in order to solidify your bond and take your relationship to the next level.

 

 

 

Emotional Connectivity Checklist: 10 Things Couples Should Do Before their Wedding

Emotional Connectivity Checklist: 10 Things Couples Should Do Before their Wedding

Photo Provided by slightly-less-random on flickr

Let’s face it, some couples go through a phase where they lose interest in each other. For some, this leads to one partner giving up hope and walking away from the relationship. For others, the wedding just seems like the next step in the relationship. It is essential for couples to connect with each other and rekindle the relationship.

Here are some things you should do to connect emotionally before your wedding:

1. Converse

There may come a time when you no longer wish to have long conversations with your partner. It could be because you feel you have nothing to talk about or because you are tired of discussing certain things. Find the energy to start a conversation with them. Ask your partner about their day or work so you do not just talk about wedding preparation.

2. Plan a Date Night

Dating shouldn’t stop because you are engaged. In fact, it is an integral part of maintaining excitement in a relationship. Choose a day of the week to go out. In order to keep this from becoming routine, take turns choosing ideas for the date.

3. Sweet Nothings

The sweetest acts from loved ones are usually the most simple. “Sweet Nothings,” or simple and random acts of sweetness are a fun way to remind your partner of how much you love them. Surprise your partner at work with a nice lunch or prepare coffee in the morning and stick a Post-It with a cute message on the mug.

4. Reminisce

This is a great way to reconnect emotionally with your partner. Try to visit the place where the two of you met and remember the details of what happened. Open up about the experience. This will help you remember exactly how far the two of you have come and why you love your partner.

5. Romance

Some people want romance while others find it corny or awkward. While it is important to remember that not all people are comfortable with their romantic side, there is one thing that can freely show you and your partner how much you love each other. When making love, be careful that it doesn’t get boring and feel free to explore new things together.

6. Activities

There are plenty of activities that couples can do together. Games, paint ball, and bowling are just a few of many options available to you. If your partner’s friends take part in certain activities, join in once in a while. You can see how they interact with their friends in addition to getting to know them more before the wedding.

7. Argue the Right Way

During wedding preparations, ideas will clash and you will argue. This is perfectly find, but be sure you are open-minded about it and avoid getting carried away from the stress. Be rational, go for a walk, and come back when you are ready to talk.

8. Be Considerate

Be considerate of your partner’s feelings. Listen to what they say and take it into consideration.

9. Laugh Together

Have a good laugh together. Whether this comes from a movie, comedy show, or just discussion, laughter helps bring people closer together.

10. Vacation

Preparing for a wedding can be stressful. Take the time to relax and unwind. Both of you should choose a place where you can chill out and take a day or two off. Your budget may be tight around this time, but this vacation does not need to be grand. What matters is that both of you get some quality time off.

What Every Future Mother-In-Law Should Read

What Every Future Mother-In-Law Should Read

Photo Provided by April Killingsworth on flickr

You are a very important part of your son or daughter’s wedding. Your opinion on certain parts of the wedding will be taken into consideration, but you have to remember that this is not your wedding. There is a reason that the stereotypical relationship between the bride or groom and their mother-in-law exists and it is because mother-in-law’s tend to meddle in their child’s affairs. Although it is natural to want to take matters into your own hands, you have to learn to mellow down.

Here are some reasons that mother-in-laws get a little too involved and ways to correct them:

Excitement

When your son or daughter has finally decided to tie the knot, you cannot help getting excited. Even before plans are in place for their wedding, you may want to tell all of your friends about it. You may also be coming up with a list of people that you want to invite to the ceremony.

Of course you are excited, but here’s the problem:

Issues: You do not know the couple’s wedding plans. They may prefer a simple ceremony for close family and friends. They may have a tight budget. Telling others about the wedding before the couple does may cause some hardships. The couple may feel the need to invite more people than they can afford or, if the person is not invited at all, they may be offended.

Solution: Try to calm down a bit and think before telling anyone the news. Ask the couple about what they are planning on doing and, if people ask about invitations, tell them that those matters are being handled by the couple. If possible, ask the couple for a guest list and avoid inviting friends or family members that do not appear on the list.

 Pride

It is natural for mother-in-laws to want the wedding to be perfect. You may have plans on how the wedding and preparations will go. You may want to suggest a hairdresser, location, place of worship, caterer, and florist.

 

Issues: By controlling all the wedding details, the couple may feel belittled. They will feel that you are monopolizing the event and that they do not have a part in their own wedding. They may also blindly accept your decisions out of respect, but that is not the ideal situation to be in.

 

Solution: It is very important to understand your role in the wedding. Do not act as a sole decision maker. Try to become a mentor or guide and provide assistance when the couple needs it. You should not feel bad about having a small part in preparing the wedding. In fact, you should be proud because it will only show that your son or daughter can accomplish it on their own. The couple’s capability to make decisions will be put to a test in theses early stages. Additionally, this may also mean that they do not want to put additional stress on you. The truth is, there will be a time when they will ask you for support. You will probably be a person they will feel they can talk to when the preparation process is overwhelming them. If this happens, be there for the couple and support them.

 

Wedding preparations can be stressful and may cause anxiety. As a mother-in-law, your sole concern should be the overall welfare of the couple. Try not to interfere with the whole affair and let them enjoy going through the process of planning their upcoming wedding.