Are you going to have an affair?

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Quiz Questions

1.
With my partner, I feel that we are...
- A.
  ...turning toward one another more times than not.
- B.
  ...turning away from one another, more times than not.
2.
Overall, I feel that my partner is not there for me. I feel emotional distance from my partner.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
3.
When I have a fight with my partner, I get so worked up that I need to walk away, I stop talking, or I might lose it.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
4.
After a fight, when I try to make things better, repair does not work.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
5.
I've started avoiding conflict more than I used to. It's just not worth it anymore.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
6.
I've started avoiding talking about what's going on in my life and I'm keeping more things secret.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
7.
When I try to do something positive or nice toward my partner, it doesn't work.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
8.
I don't depend on the relationship as much as I used to. I'm sacrificing less to make it work.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
9.
I get defensive a lot and my partner's negative traits have grown.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
10.
We don't have many things that we agree on. It's like we're headed in different directions.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
11.
My partner is really selfish, most of what they do is self centered.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
12.
My partner punishes me by not having sex.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
13.
I've started looking at more pornography than I used to.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
14.
I'm not going to work on the relationship anymore, I have more "anti-relationship" thoughts than "pro-relationship" thoughts.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
15.
I have some relationships that my partner doesn't know about.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
16.
I am actively turning toward others, rather than my partner. Things my partner used to help me with, others now help with.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
17.
I've crossed emotional or physical boundaries with someone. I have been deceptive about this.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
- C.
  Sort of
18.
I'm planning to have an affair soon.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Your Marriage is Going Great!
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Well done! It sounds like there are very few indicators of an affair in your relationship. Based on your scores, you are: Turning toward your partner, rather than away When you have fights, you try to fix them You have very few secrets Your partner supports you and makes your life better You're keeping great boundaries As you keep moving in a positive direction, keep investing in the relationship. Here are some quick tips: Try to keep a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. Use statements that state what you feel and what you need, rather than focusing on what your partner isn't doing. Invest in expanding your skills through reading, workshops, or preventative therapy. Keep it up!
2.
There are some initial concerns
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Well done! It sounds like there are very few indicators of an affair in your relationship, but have a few things you can work on. Based on your scores, you are: Are starting to feel some distance with your partner You may have a few secrets Some bad habits are starting to form You've set good boundaries and still invest in your partner As you keep moving in a positive direction, keep investing in the relationship. Here are some quick tips: Try to keep a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. Use statements that state what you feel and what you need, rather than focusing on what your partner isn't doing. Invest in expanding your skills through reading, workshops, or preventative therapy. Keep it up!
3.
You are moving toward having an affair
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You have several indicators that an affair may happen. Without intervention, things are getting dangerously close. Based on your scores, you are: Turning away from your partner, rather than toward When you have fights, they usually go unresolved You have quite a few secrets You are finding more support with others outside of the relationship Your boundaries are slipping It's time to get help soon. Whether or not you choose to have an affair, your relationship needs some help. Here are some quick tips: Try to keep a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. Use statements that state what you feel and what you need, rather than focusing on what your partner isn't doing. Reach out to a local therapist that specializes in the Gottman or RFT approaches. Meet with a counselor in person or online: https://margietherapy.com/about-me/ You can get help!
4.
You are likely to have an affair
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You have several indicators that an affair may happen or is about to happen. Without intervention, things are getting dangerously close. Based on your scores, you are: Turning away from your partner, rather than toward When you have fights, they usually go unresolved You have quite a few secrets You are finding more support with others outside of the relationship, and may have started thinking about an affair Your boundaries are slipping fast It's time to get help soon. Whether or not you choose to have an affair, your relationship needs some help Here are some quick tips: Set some very clear boundaries and stop building emotional connections with those who you may have an affair. Try to keep a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. Use statements that state what you feel and what you need, rather than focusing on what your partner isn't doing. Reach out to a local therapist that specializes in the Gottman or RFT approaches. Get help from a counselor in person or online: https://margietherapy.com/about-me/ You can get help!